Slim Thug’s Black Women Views

It has come to my attention in a recent Vibe magazine article, that a southern rapper by the name of Slim Thug, has irritated the population of black women by stating plenty of frank views about the shortcomings of his personal black-on-black relationships. Particularly, the cat stated, with much irritation I might add, that black women were all about what a man could do for them, while white women, and or mixed women, were willing to accept a successful black man’s place as a king, treat him right, listen to him, and add her own personal change to the pot of relationship economics.

And boy has Slim Thug heard it from a number of very responsive sisters. But as I carefully read his article, a few obvious points came to mind. Number one; any white woman who is willing to date a black man, even in year 2010, is already willing to cater to a his needs. If not, she wouldn’t gone there in the first place. And as for a mixed girl, if she’s been raised liberally, which would mean more on the white side of our society, she may lean closer to fulfilling a black man’s ego-stroking needs as well. But let’s stop this stereotypical conversation right there.

What exactly does it mean to “cater to a man”? Because that’s what we’re talking about. Does a woman let him lead? Does a woman not question him? Does a woman do everything that he asks her to do? Does a woman not sweat the small stuff? Does a woman not run her mouth, complaining and such? And does a woman bend over backwards to make her man feel comfortable by any means necessary?

Accordingly to Slim Thug, all of the above may apply. And that’s where he’s going to have a problem with black women. First of all, in the slave-labor history of America, no one as EVER catered to black women as a norm. She, in turn, has been forced to cater to everyone, including several children without fathers in many situations. So there was no man there to lead. And in the absence of honorable or respectable leadership, that we ALL need at one point or another, many young black women have now fortified a resistance to EVERYTHING!

In other words, “Don’t try to lead me now after being missing-in-action for all of my life. And what about you doing something for ME for a change, after I’ve been constantly doing things for everybody else? And yeah, I sweat the small stuff because I’m always on edge after this world has done me, my mother and my grandmother so badly. And since I’m tired of being walked over, I’m gonna run my damn mouth when I FEEL like it! And if you have a problem with that, then you can run on back to your white woman or your confused little mixed girl, because I’m not bending over backwards for NOBODY!”

Does any of that sound similar? I know I’ve heard it PLENTY of times in the black community. And it’s all true and valid arguments. On the flip side, I can’t help but think about a young white woman sitting up in the big house, playing with her Barbie and Ken dolls, while a poor black slave girl does all of the work there, only to return home to her slave quarters, where she’s expected to do even MORE work. Now just imagine three or four hundred years of that for a minute . . . Hell, I’d be pissed off as a black woman after all of that extra work too. At EVERYONE!

Now, I know, I know, we are no longer in slavery days. Every white girl was not that privileged. Every mixed girl is not utterly confused. And every true blue black girl is not that unfortunate. I just wanted to give us all a very clear psychology to think about here. There are a lot of extra reasons to view a black woman’s anger in this country that white women have never had to deal with. And trust me, every white woman does not want to bend over backwards for a man either. In fact, there are plenty of white girls who are told to not even consider a man who doesn’t make a certain income or come from a certain family background, who can afford MAIDS and housekeepers. So PLEASE don’t believe that every white girl is willing to jump into a black man’s fantasy movie, because that idea is the farthest from the truth. And mixed girls have their own list of problems to deal with, while being harrassed by plenty of name-calling haters from both sides.

However, when we honestly discuss the known privileges of certain rappers, like Slim Thug, or athletes, actors, or successful black businessmen in this country, we must understand that these men represent a social and economic class where they can do more, and therefore, they expect more. But that privilege serves to complicate the issue of serious dating, with plenty of women expecting the successful man to always provide more, especially women who don’t have as many available breadwinners in their communities. Hence, the game of musical chairs for successful black men can tend to feel a lot more aggressive and urgent.

And the reality is, many women still feel leery about openly discussing this issue. How exactly do we tackle the idea of male breadwinners in a black culture that continues to be under the gun economically, and how those social and economic strains effects our relationships. That is a serious SERIOUS issue to consider. I even wrote and produced a recent stage play about the battle of social and economic power called Broke & Sexy, because there is just no way around it. We live in a capitalistic society, where black people have been so frustrated by out-of-reach wealth and opportunities that it drives most of us insane.

So I fully understand Slim Thug’s misguided views. The man finds himself under the gun and doesn’t have enough historical perspective to understand what’s going on. Or maybe he does understand and simply wanted to stir up the pot with a strong community reaction. I also understand the young black women who may view Slim and other successful brothers as lottery tickets, because for many of them, they ARE lottery tickets. But you have millions of other sisters who don’t think that way, and who hold their own with a stacked bank account, respectability and cultural education. These honorable sisters unfortunately get caught up in the wave of unhealthy stereotypes and have to defend themselves, which only serves to make the stereotype appear more valid. Even the First Lady, Michelle Obama, has had to deal with the “angry black woman” slander.

We are locked within a complicated, multiple bladed sword on every side of this issue. Black women have plenty reasons to complain, but they are punished for doing so because it feeds the already popular stereotype of their anger. Black men have every reason to act a fool about their lack of peaceful relationships, but shouldn’t if they understand the ridiculous and unfair history of black women in America. White women don’t want to be dragged into this irritating discussion at all, and most of the time they ignore it. Mixed girls have no choice but to bear it all and live their lives as best they can. White men have similar complaints about the insensitivity of the breadwinner issue, but since they have more opportunities to actually BE the breadwinner, they don’t complain about it HALF as much as black men do. Nevertheless, white men feel the pressure as well, just like women feel the pressure to um, “serve and obey” their husbands.

Hell, I can’t even write those words without ducking the imaginary pots and pans that are being thrown at my head just for saying it. It doesn’t even sound right to me. So I rarely expect that kind of a “catering” to happen, even though most couples have actually agreed to it. So what do you guys think about all of this? We could literally write back and forth on these issues of gender, race, and economics for YEARS and would still never have it settled. And I already understand that women will do most of the talking, because guys accept the fact they can’t win the conversation. So what’s the use of even having the argument? A guy will go out and deal with whatever woman will accept him in whatever capacity for whatever reason, and go on with his life.

In the meantime, most men, white and black, will read the comments that Slim Thug put out there to make himself a target for ridicule, and many of the men will agree or disagree, while remaining safely in the dark to discuss it amongst themselves, or only with women who they are not attracted to in a relationship way.

Trust me, at my age, I’ve been there all before. I have also been at the fiery mantle catching hell for opening my big, fat mouth about gender politics. But at the end of the day, men and women of all races and nationalities will continue to dance an insane dance to figure out how exactly to survive with each other’s history and present to create a healthy and continuous future.


Omar Tyree, a New York Times best-selling author, a 2001 NAACP Image Award recipient for Outstanding Literature in Fiction, and a 2006 Phillis Wheatley Literary Award winner for Body of Work in Urban Fiction, has been cited in 2009 by the City Council of Philadelphia for his work in Urban Literacy, and has published 19 books with 2 million copies sold worldwide. With a degree in Print Journalism from Howard University in 1991, Tyree has been recognized as one of the most renown contemporary writers in the African-American community. He is also an informed and passionate speaker on various community-related and intellectual topics. Now entering the world of business seminars, urban children’s books, feature films and songwriting, Tyree is a tireless creator and visionary of few limitations. For more information on his work and titles, please view his web site @ (www.OmarTyree.com).